Mother Hubbard's Cupboard

A look into the mind of one of the most random, crazy people in all the land.

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Location: East Peoria, Illinois, United States

A Lutheran seminarian eagerly awaiting the return of Our Lord. Soli Deo Gloria!

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Get in the Fridge Then!

As much as I hate this whole blogspot to become drama it sure does look like it's going down that path. When I started this blogspot, I was the happiest guy you could find (neglecting the "background depression" of being single....which at the TIME looked like it could disappear soon). Now, I'm one of the more depressed individuals who is simply tired and cynical (for those who know me only as an RA or even as a resident you have absolutely no idea how cynical I can get). People who grew up with me know how I can get. It might be fun as hell to hear me critique everything with a smartass comment, but it hides a true pain that is beyond belief (think of the pain as the nice guy's version of pregnancy and childbirth, but rather than being incredibly painful and lasting for hours, it mounts with each passing day, starting as a slow ache and then becomming a piercing horrifying pain which can last for years to decades).

But what do you do if you feel that you can't find your soulmate? People always say there are other fish in the sea, but what if you're looking for that one? The other fish in the sea approach almost makes it sound like you have a shotgun approach to dating! On the other hand it could mean that finding "her" is like looking for a needle in the haystack, so either way this comment seems to say that you're screwed. Come on! My worst fear aside from some random phobias is getting older and not being able to share my life intimately with a woman (not just sexually, but all of it). Let's face it, there is only so much you can share with your guy friends or even your girl friends and still not be "intimate" with them.

Isn't the very idea of the concept of a man and a woman for them to compliment each other? To become of one flesh and be a whole from two separate parts? To break off from the parents and become a new family unit? Yeah, so even if I am to rely in God I need to think this is his plan for me. But what if I end up being single? What is his plan? These thoughts don't consume my all everyday but they do take up a good portion of it. I mean even going out and seeing a happy couple is another knife to the heart (or for you Bon Jovi fans a "Shot to the Heart").

Now, the rest of this blog is devoted to discussing an interesting phenomenon in women....them not even thinking and knowing what they want. After last night I felt kinda depressed. Let's just say girl A became inaccessible suddenly and girl B I don't think is interested in me at all in a more than a friend way. Even though it was unofficial St. Patrick's here at U of I, I didn't drink myself silly. I went out with my friend Bekah and explained to her the situation with girl A. After hearing the tale, she states that she was "being a dumb bitch." Now I like girl A so I'm thinking "WTF?! Why did you just insult a girl I like?" Well it turns out that she meant it to be a state of mind, not a blanket statement. Being a "dumb bitch" is a state of mind which most women have at least 50% of the time in which they don't know what they want and in which they do stupid relationship things. This might be why the nice guys can't understand what the hell goes through girl's minds (remember, a girl doesn't know what she wants but a woman does). So this I think explains a lot, and kinda screws me over even more. I'm not looking for a sureproof formula for getting to know a girl better, but I'd sooner ask a mutual friend or friends about it and figure it out without making the friendship awkward. Even if it is from a friend I can take rejection as long as the "we can still be friends" doesn't turn into a blanket alienation or lifetime of uncomfortable situations with them.

Well, I'm off to Illinites but I thought I'd share with you why I'm really depressed. So here we have it. I'm (was) pissed because of people's insensitivity and stupidity, I'm stressed because of school and work, and I'm depressed because of women. My RA friend Raj suggested I wait for the right girl to come about rather than search for her myself actively. Another RA, Shannon heard this and said that was the worst advice she had ever heard and I agree. Much as I like Raj, I've got a good 3 years more of life than he does and I did his plan of waiting all throughout college. It's only this last year that I actually developed unplanned crushes. Well, I hope this helps pierce the bubble of my head.

Oh, to see the pics after Unofficial, go here (

The reason this blog is the title it is is due to Michael Melnikoff, who suggested that when girls are doing what Bekah said they do, they should get in the fridge.....if you haven't seen the Fensler Films G.I. Joe, you should come see me then. See ya!



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