Mother Hubbard's Cupboard

A look into the mind of one of the most random, crazy people in all the land.

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Location: East Peoria, Illinois, United States

A Lutheran seminarian eagerly awaiting the return of Our Lord. Soli Deo Gloria!

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

What's It Been, 13 Years.....14. My Lord, It's Like I'm Looking In A Mirror.

Right when you think you can start talking about something interesting or cool.....shit hits the fan and the bitching begins. After all, I originally wanted to get this blogposting thing so I could let off some steam and have other people (preferrably ones I talk about) read it. I'm awful at vocal communication with people and am even less inclined towards speech for large groups (so I want to be a teacher/professor and eventually a pastor....go friggin figure). So what's happened in the last three days since Easter?

Monday was Brian Bish's 21st birthday so after our CRU meeting (yes, I'm going back now) we headed to Joe's (shudder) where there was no cover and Coke was free (.....yes I still had beer...but not much since I still had homework to do when I got home). I had the privelage of buying him his first legal beer (Sam Adams Boston Lager) and eventually an Irish Car Bomb. There were a lot of mutual friends there so it was an awesome night! Then the next night came.....Libby's 21st birthday party was actually great for a while (for me....she had a great time and that's the most important thing since you only turn 21 once), but then things started turning sour when Rob drank four beers and got drunk off his ass (how I have no F*&%ing clue) and so as a result of that and Griffin's good advice for me to wait with the group so my BAC went down....and Roenan's macking.....the job of taking care of Rob went to yours truly (why do I end up taking care of drunks????? I've only needed attention once and I was at a friends room already!). The whole night started with a Spades game where Bish and I (who apparently have different playing styles) teamed up against Tom and Melnikoff. We were down in negative numbers when Bish had to leave and then Griffin came in and (yes with obvious table talk = cheating) we came back. Anyway....I remembered that Libby's email said the party started @ 9:30 or 10 at Murphy's and I don't like being late to anything....especially a birthday party. I roll outta here @ ~9:45 thinking people will be there and no, they aren't. So I wait around for a while and as 10 rolls around I start thinking....CRAP, they may have moved on somewhere else and I don't have her number to call and find out! So I call Bekah and see if she wants to come out (she's been having a bitch of a week), so she says yes and brings her other roommate and they come after Libby and company get to the bar. I start the drinking in full force since I figure I'll drink some and sober up. So while we're at Murphy's I have 7 pints of Coors Light (tripple shudder-hey, they were only $1 a piece) and I buy Libby a Buttery Nipple....which someone else got for her.....and they didn't have Liquid Cocaine so I couldn't be original.....but no problem. So I'm lightly buzzing at this point, and Griffin, Bekah, one of the Lauras from Libby's group, and a guy from their group, plus me decide to go downstairs and play some pool. We win, but I figure I was there for Libby's party and pool was downstairs so I forfeited my space to go back upstairs and hang out. At this point I figure......maybe we can have some fun, so I ask the bartender for a shot glass with water and something that made it look like it could have alcohol in it...so he put in just Coke. I then give it to her and she doesn't want to have any more drinks (I'm at fault here.....she was willing to trust that it was alcohol and she really didn't want to drink anymore....so her reaction was understandable).....so she finally drinks it AFTER I tell her what's in it....and then for some really screwed up reason they wonder what ELSE is in it....IF I GIVE HER A GLASS WITH LIQUID AND YOU ASK WHAT ALCOLHOL IT IS, WHY DOES EVERYONE NOT TRUST THAT IT HAD NO ALCOHOL AFTER I TELL THEM! Sorry, for the yelling but the logic of the situation escaped me. So at this point Rob's deffinately tipsy/sloshed but he's primarily sitting in one place so that was fine. I vowed to not follow the group to Brothers when Priscilla got there because I hated that bar. I find out Bekah and her roommate ducked out and then Griffin said I should stay with the group and let my BAC go down and that was probably a good LOGICAL choice......it just got effected badly.

So we go to Brother's and I'm keeping an eye on Rob....who almost clocks several people in Brother's dancing. I'm trying to talk to Priscilla and Roenan but Rob is making this extremely difficult. After like, 5 minutes we go to Joes.... and left immediately for some reason unknown to me, then Legends....and this is where the night starts to royally blow for me. We get to Legend's I gotta pee (I ended up breaking the seal before anyone even got to Murphy's....and Libby's whole innocence about what the term was was funny as hell :-)) so I go and then come back and the only stool available is next to the red headed Laura who is talking to Roenan. Now I know they are talking a lot (GO ROENAN!) but this left me without anyone to talk to. I got several waters, gave Rob one and told him to drink it (he was being obstinate with me at this point....he's kind of a silly/mean drunk). So I sit and watch a game of tennis between Venus and Serena Williams on the screen (I thought one of them died?). By the way, I f*cking hate tennis. So we leave from there and we all head over to IHOP. When we get there, Roenan and Laura are already in IHOP and people are talking like Burger King is the actual stop....so I run in and get them and the group changes their mind....after Rob has left the group without anyone really caring and gone to Burger King. So I wrangle his ass outta there, grab a crown for Libby because she appreciates little things like that (awww) and went to IHOP. Now our waiter looked like Harry Potter, but was really a douchebag. He separates us out not with one booth behind another so all I would have had to do to talk to people was turn around...he puts Rob and I in a booth across the aisle so hearing people is impossible and so is talking (this is two F*CKING places we went to where I was effectively isolated from the group and babysitting Rob...THAT'S WHY I WAS PISSED GUYS!....not like anyone of you actually reads this anyway). So I order my food and it takes FOREVER! By this time the other booth is joking with the waiter (or being serious cause it's hard to hear) about getting their food free since it was Libby's birthday or having them sing Happy Birthday and the guy was real obstinate and was like..."we don't do that here"....yeah right and my testicles haven't dropped yet either. After all is said and done we leave...and I give Sterisol (yeah I looked up the name of a douche product) a $0.17 tip for being an absolute ass clown (comeon, it's her freakin 21st birthday and your manager gave her ice cream while you gave excuses and didn't listen to us when we asked for your services and you didn't check on us....plus I'm about as charitable as Stalin at this point). I drive people home, I get a ride from the parking lot to PAR, I say bye to Roenan and Libby, write a pissed off away message, do some stats and go to bed. Look, on birthdays the only person who has any excuse to get drunk and have people take care of them is the birthday individual...when someone else gets drunk someone has to take care of them and it diminishes the night.

THIS MORNING, I wake up, finish the stats, and ask Mike and Tony if they want to go to lunch....and they say yes until they fall back asleep twice, whereupon they cancel. Had we been on time for lunch I would have been able to sit with Bish.....but NOOOOO. So all-in-all I'm mad at pretty much everyone (save Libby, Bish, Priscilla, and Bekah-yay trooper) and right now I need time to just stew in this pile of puke. The only plus side to the last two days is that Libby had a good birthday and I got to use WIMPE for an hour (way to take two years Rip......oh, you're still not done with stuff?....can we say ripoff to the state?).

Crapfully....me

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