Mother Hubbard's Cupboard

A look into the mind of one of the most random, crazy people in all the land.

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Location: East Peoria, Illinois, United States

A Lutheran seminarian eagerly awaiting the return of Our Lord. Soli Deo Gloria!

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Ah, You Know It's Funny, These People Go To Sleep They Think Everything's Fine, Everything's Good.....Then They Wake Up The Next Day And Their On Fire

Man, this week started out good then got vague, crappy, and just depressing. I don't know why I'm so depressed anymore. It comes in bouts when I least expect it and nothing that I know of really brings it on. All I know is that the general background depression is getting worse and worse. Maybe I'm stressed out, maybe I'm mad at people who don't give a shit but expect me to. What I do know is that I think most if not all girls are ABSOLUTE MORONS! So yeah, I went out on Friday with Bekah (I wasn't really expecting to go out, but she wanted to.....Saturday night was when I wanted to go out but she was tired because her boss and coworkers eat shit and spit it out on her) and while we were at the bar I a girl who is going for her PhD comes up to her and talks to her. It turns out this girl knew her from the girl's ex-boyfriend who was at the bar with another date. Now this is the kicker: Apparently they broke up because of some issues that I don't know that much about, but she starts saying how she was so surprised that she never heard someone tell her that they loved her. However she said she knows he misses her, and as a result, to either get over him or make him jealous she is changing the way she does stuff. She's working out now (she was very pretty), she dresses in "cute clothes" and all this to become the "type of girl the guys want to date." WTF?! She suppossedly changes for herself yet then says it's to get the guy back or become the type of girl the guys wanna date? She has some major self-esteem issues and if the guy really loved her he wouldn't have hit on Bekah when they were dating. In other words the guy used her and left her emotionally empty because he sounds like a major asshole. He'll tell a girl anything she wants to hear to hear in order to sleep with her, and that's sad as hell.

Then, Bekah gets sick @ ~midnight and she goes home. I head over to the Natural History Building and worked on my thesis and talked to Alex till 4 am. I got to sleep ~ 5am. I get up the next day, see Bekah at Baker's Square and she's all kinda down and tired. After my lunch there @ 3:30pm I went to NHB and did some work, then went home, played spades and got ready to go see Nicole sing in the Black Chorus Concert. Maybe I got all depressed when the subject of graduation came up in the concert.....meh. I leave and call Bekah cause we were going to hang out that night and she tells me about her day and how she's too tired. I was really mad at that point, not at her, but at the people who use her and treat her like crap. I think because I deal with people using me enough it pissed me off more than it should. I go home, probably treated Griffin a little more cold-shoulderish than I should have, and went to play spades with the guys at late night where I saw Patrick working and said hey to Libby when she went by with her posse.

We came upstairs after the game and Bish came back with Nick. Now this is another reason why I am mad at all women (aside from the whole not dating crap.....wait, that's the source of all this!): Bish likes a girl and she likes him (they both told each other on a date....a real "date") but at the date she said she was going out with another guy (who Bish knows) the next night. Obviously this is like taking a rusty knife and castrating him quickly without anesthesia. He then asked her what would happen if he dated another girl and she said, "it would probably be over between us".......HOLY HYPOCRISY BATMAN! What the HELL is it with our floor? We all have "shady moments" with girls and you know what? MOST OF US ARE STILL SINGLE WITH NO END IN SIGHT! No matter how close I think I might be to lose that status and get to know a good girl something happens, they don't wanna date yet for some obscure reason (or they weren't too bright in a previous relationship), they just wanna be friends, they wanna have fun......and many other B.S. excuses. I'm tempted to become a friggin eunich and move to a monastary at this rate, it'd be less depressing than walking around campus seeing kissy faced couples holding hands and being happy while your life is crap. Well, to make up for it all I'm gonna marry my work the rest of the semester....maybe my naievete will kick in next semester and I'll set myself up for failure then. SCREW WOMEN!

Good Day to you sir/maam.


Anonymous Julia said...

"She's working out now (she was very pretty), she dresses in "cute clothes" and all this to become the "type of girl the guys want to date." " Hmm...well, I'm working out and dress 'cute' but then I feel like I've kind of let myself go physically and happen to enjoy feeling pretty when I dress up. So it's pretty much just for me. That is really weird, though I guess I can see the motivation to want to look super hot just to make him regret breaking up with her, even if I wouldn't be like that.

And on the Bish thing, Ouch! Wow. And I thought I could be hypocritical... mainly it's my thoughts that are hypocritical though, and I'll realize it and try not to act on it. So if I was that girl who supposedly likes Bish, and wanted to see other guys, even if I didn't like him seeing other girls it wouldn't seem fair to not allow him to do what I also plan to do. Instead, either we'd both be able to see other people, or neither can. How hard is that? Hmm. The most striking example of my hypocrasy I don't really feel comfortable discussing here, but I did it on purpose trying to end a relationship (why I couldn't just dump him is kind of beyond me, sort of. You can ask me about it if you care to).

And, um, I'm sorry if I'm one of those cutesy couple people...that would totally be my fault. I'm irrepressably affectionate.

And on that somewhat awkward note, I'm going to head back to studying, heh.

2:57 PM  
Blogger Brian said...

In defense of Lisa, she definitely told me before the date. And although what she did sucked ass for me, it worked out for the best.

As for your depression, sorry bro. Life sucks. I'm glad our hope isn't in this world, you know? We'd be, among all men, those most to be pitied.

Lisa didn't do anything out of bounds, and yeah it sucked and I appreciate you guys getting my back and stuff, but she had no commitment to me. That's true.

Love ya bro.

5:40 PM  
Anonymous Beth said...

Hey Chris - Just dropping by to say hi. Never clicked on the link before, so I decided I would tonight... Have a good one, take care...

8:46 PM  

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